Lucky

Did you hear the commercial for the teddy bear? If you gave your wife a giant 8 foot tall teddy bear for Valentine’s Day, then you would get lucky? It’s true. We’ve cracked the code!

WRONG!!

Actually – I would challenge you with this: if buying a teddy bear leads to a rare special moment; then you are doing it wrong and need to focus on a better technique. So…if the teddy bear isn’t the answer; then maybe we can use the scripture to help our cause:

“The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. I say this as a concession, not as a command. 1 Corinthians 7

Paul writes to the church encouraging those who are married to mutually give themselves to each other physically. Don’t hold anything back. Her body is not her own. It belongs to you, so there you go. Giddy up!

WRONG AGAIN!!

Guys….it starts long before the moment is right. Yes – the Bible says that you should not deprive each other. But if you value the command to love your wife like Christ loved the church; then you shouldn’t deprive her of the things that she needs that will help you with what you need. I want to share a portion of an article written by Dennis Rainey called “Five Romantic Needs of a Woman”. I will share the five points; and then we will discuss them another day after you’ve had sometime to generate your own thoughts about them.

#1: To be spiritually ministered to by her man
#2: To feel safe and secure with her husband
#3: To share intimate conversation
#4: To receive a tender touch and hear gentle words
#5: To be pursued and set apart by her man

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Need a gift idea?

What is the best gift that you can give your wife? Flowers? Chocolates? Dinner out? All good ideas and give them; however I would like to challenge you to give her something greater. Make yourself less and God more in your life. Seek God as your guide. Ask God to help you become the husband that He intends you to be. Seek to love her like He loves her. How you ask? Start with this verse; and then ask God to help you love her like this.

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)

Be Strong. Act Like Men.

Has it already been five years?

It started five years ago with this verse: 1 Corinthians 16:13-14 “Be on the alert, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love”

We have had over 17,113 visitors to the blog from over 80 different countries.  We have become members of the Christian Marriage Blogger Association and been referenced on 15 different blogs about Christian marriages and in various articles.  We have written over 742 blog posts.  And it started as a simple desire to create a community of men that shared a desire to love their wives like Christ loved the church. Through the power of God – it has become more than we anticipated it would.

We have been blessed with loving and supportive wives. We are thankful for the support of all those that have shared their ideas and have prayed for us. We are grateful for all those that have taken the time to read our thoughts.

We are truly humbled.

Matthew 18:20 says “For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”

Be Strong. Act Like Men.

Are you willing?

I want to share something that I read recently……

“The truth is that the more intimately you know someone, the more clearly you’ll see their flaws. That’s just the way it is. This is why marriages fail, why children are abandoned, why friendships don’t last. You might think you love someone until you see the way they act when they’re out of money, or under pressure, or hungry for goodness’ sake. Love is something different. Love is choosing to serve someone and be with someone in spite of their filthy heart. Love is patient and kind, love is deliberate. Love is hard. Love is pain and sacrifice, it’s seeing the darkness in another person and defying the impulse to jump ship.”

Are you ready for the hard times? Are you willing to work through the pain and sacrifice it takes to make your marriage successful?

I will challenge you this way…..

Would you give up on your children? Or do you love them unconditionally regardless of the things that they may choose to do? Most of us love our children unconditionally. Although they might receive tough love….we would never turn our backs on them. Shouldn’t we be loving our spouse in the same way?

Be Strong. Act Like Men.

All means ALL!

So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.
1 Corinthians 10:31

I love this verse. I love how straightforward and clear Paul is here in his letter to the Corinthians. I’m pretty sure that do all means – do ALL!

Are you glorifying God in ALL areas of your life? Now I’ll be the first to admit that I frequently fall short of this charge but I go to this verse daily as a reminder that I need to be better. Better in my career, my relationships, my marriage, my parenting, my coaching….EVERYTHING! I also know that I can’t do this on my own but only with God at the center of all these things.

What are the things you need to hand over to God so you can start to live a life that is glorifying to Him?

Be Strong. Glorify God.

Why are we here in the first place?

In marriage, success never happens on accident. It takes work. It takes effort. It also takes unity. You’ll only be successful if both of you are committed to it and putting in the practice. Amos 3:3 asks, “Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?” If you’re not traveling in the same direction, marriage can be a difficult journey.

How do you find God’s purpose for your marriage? You can start by asking another question: Why are we here in the first place?

The answer is that God put you here, and He created you for a purpose. He wants you to have a relationship with Him and He wants you to have a relationship with each other. Jesus’ two greatest commandments reflect this.

1. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength.

2. Love your neighbor as yourself. (See Matthew 22:36-40.)

God brings us together because relationships are why we exist. They are what help us become the people He created us to be.

But the devil knows this, so he works to divide us. He creates walls and uses temptations to separate us from each other. He also puts distractions in our path. These are substitutions for what we get out of marriage. They’re things we think will bring us happiness, like money, or a new job, or even a new spouse. He spreads dissatisfaction through these distractions.

God’s plan is to bring us together and keep us together. He wants us to pursue Him and pursue our spouse. Satan wants to tear us away from God and apart from each other. Those methods have worked for a long, long time.

On earth, your primary human relationship is with your spouse, and building that relationship is why God put you together. That’s His plan for your life. Your marriage is your purpose. Your purpose is your marriage. Your family, your spouse, your faith…these are the things that matter.

So prioritize your spouse as you pursue God. Refuse to be distracted by substitutions. Not only will you find success, but you’ll be protected from the devil’s attempts to separate you. Your marriage will never be the same.

Do men need church?

“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another…” – Hebrews 10:24-25

It’s no secret; the church is slowly losing its grip on men in this country. What gives? Why are we all leaving? Perhaps a better question would be, why do we stay? I mean, what really keeps us glued to church? What is the “stuff” that drives us to come back. How would I answer that question? Why do I need the church family?

I think if we asked the majority of men, they probably don’t know why they need church. After all, church is just that thing that Christians do on Sundays. And for those who do go, “church” always seems to focus on the things that men aren’t really in to: emotional appeals and talking about stuff.

But here’s the deal. No football team voluntary goes on to the field with only a few players – it puts them at a distinct disadvantage. They can’t pull off with a few players what they can with a whole team. In the same way, God designed the Church to do His work in the world – a work too big for any one person.

The problem I think is that few of us are really on mission with God to the point where we actually need others to help us. We tend to focus on our strengths and the places where we are competent so that we don’t have to ask for help. No wonder we don’t feel the need for the church.

What if we started dreaming bigger? What if we started doing things that required other brothers in Christ? What if we as men were so on mission for God that we couldn’t operate without the church?

Be Strong. Act Like Men.