Did you ever watch the Bill Cosby’s “Kids say the Darnest Things” show? I was thinking about this show the other day. It got me thinking about when people argue. It is fertile ground for people saying the darnest things…the hurtful damaging things!!
Do you ever argue with your wife? Does your wife ever argue with you? You can skip answering that last questions if she is sitting next to you! Let’s not start an argument!
Do you both fight fair? And what exactly does that look like. No – it does mean that she argues in a manner that benefits you. Or vice versa. How do you define it? Maybe it is times to create “rules of engagement” with your spouse. How? Let’s start with God’s word:
“Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil” – Psalm 37:8
“The one who has knowledge uses words with restraint, and whoever has understanding is even-tempered.” – Proverbs 17:27
“Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity.” Proverbs 21:23
“A time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak” – Ecclesiastes 3:7
Here is a few ideas to get the “rules of engagement” started:
• Never hit below the belt (and learn where your spouse’s “belt” is)
• Pick the right time and place for your arguments
• Learn the fine art of compromise
• Never walk out on an argument, except by mutual agreement
• Kick the word D-I-V-O-R-C-E out of your marriage vocabulary
• End every argument with apologies, prayer, and a hug
As you grow spiritually – you’ll learn to “fight” by God’s rules which include grace and forgiveness. I promise – you’ll still have moments of intense fellowship; but maybe you’ll come out of the conflict more in love with each other than you were going into it. Is there a better reason to kiss and make up?
Last thing….men pray with your wife after an argument. It is crucial that you lead this in your marriage regardless of how you feel. It will open both your hearts to God.
Be Strong. Act Like Men.