EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love with your spouse wasn’t hard. In fact, it was a completely spontaneous experience. You didn’t have to do anything. That’s why it’s called “falling” in love – because it’s happening to you. Falling in love is easy. It’s a passive, spontaneous experience.
But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It’s the natural cycle of every relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother, touch is not always welcome and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.
The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.
At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, “Did I marry the right person?” And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had. This is when marriages break down. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness.
The key to succeeding in marriage is not finding the right person. It’s learning to love you person that you found. The person the God placed you with.
Sustaining love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It’ll never just happen to you. You can’t “find” lasting love. You have to “make” it day in and day out. That’s why we have the expression “the labor of love.” It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly it takes God’s help.
Love is not a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.
Just as there are physical laws of the universe, there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship will make your marriage stronger. It’s a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable – you can “make” love.
Be Strong. Act Like Men.