Before we start – I know that we have some single fathers that read our blog. I would challenge you to take these ideas on co-parenting and apply them to your relationship with your ex-wife. We are writing today based on being a husband and learning to work with your ex-wife.
Research proves that children an successfully adjust to the ending of their parent’s marriage if: 1) the parents are able to bring their marital relationship to an end without excessive conflict, 2) children are not put into the middle of whatever conflict exists and 3) there is a commitment from the parents to cooperate on issues related directly to the children.
Where do you start?
Establish a new relationship. A challenge is dissolving the marital relationship, creating a boundary and building a strong parental relationship. You must completely separate the old marital issues from the new co-parenting relationship. Your relationship is limited to strictly the children. Personal lives are not part of the discussion. Creating boundaries allows for the co-parenting relationship to develop much easier which ultimately benefits the children.
Control. Divorce doesn’t end the dynamic of family relationships; it simply reorganizes them into separate households. Even after the divorce many ex-spouse are still trying to change, control or influence their ex-spouse in the same manner they did before they were divorced. If it didn’t work then, why should it work now? You must give up control. Your relationship with your ex-spouse should be focused on nothing more than the children’s material, physical, educational and emotional welfare. Nothing else. Period.
It might seem difficult at times. It might require you to set your pride aside. Be a leader. Set an example. It will make your life easier and the life change easier on your children.
Be Strong. Act Like Men.