Taking the next step – a personal reflection

We’ve spent time talking about pursuing an Ephesians 5 marriage. We’ve talked about steps to loving our wives better. We’ve talked about communication, conflict resolution, forgiveness and patience. We have 400 hundred posts on this blog to help improve and guide our approach as husbands.

And yet – why is it so difficult to implement these things? Isn’t it to our benefit? It all makes sense especially in the male mind…doing this equals this. Simple right?

It’s not. I’ve noticed that I have difficulty in the area of conflict resolution. I get defensive and allow my feelings control my reaction. I’ve gotten better at recognizing that I’ve reacted negatively and taking ownership….a huge improvement in how I’ve handled myself in the past. That said I still have much room for improvement. Wouldn’t it be nice if we could prevent a negative reaction from the start?

Check out Proverbs 11:27 – He who seeks good finds good will, but evil comes to him who searches for it.

It would be wonderful to seek out the intention of what is happening rather than jumping to conclusions based on what I perceive is happening.

Now look at 1 Corinthians 1:10 – I appeal to you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another so that there may be no divisions among you and that you may be perfectly united in mind and thought.

What would happen if we sought out good intentions even if the situation is difficult? What if “agree with one another so that there may be no divisions among you” and being “united in mind and thought” meant that we wanted God’s best in the middle of a situation? What if we were both open to understanding that we are not perfect ourselves, and therefore might be wrong about what is occurring. What if we were open to hearing rather than just listening to what is being said. Open to finding a solution that centers our marriage on Christ. Being “open” to other people means that we can disagree without creating division. It can allow us to create the oneness and intimacy that God desires for our marriage.

We’ve talked about submission. Success at the next level requires submitting ourselves to God’s best first, and in doing so, submitting to peace, not battle, with our wives.

Give that some thought in your own marriage.

Be Strong. Act Like Men

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