I was listening to one parent talk to another parent about the availability of pornography in 2015 compared to 1985 when they were children. It is much more accessible today. It creates a challenge in parenting and in marriages.
As husbands, we hold our brides’ hearts in our hands. It’s our job to lead them, love them, and protect them at any cost. You are the caretaker of her heart. We must provide stability in a world where sexuality is skewed and distorted beyond recognition. Fight the fight, and fight to win. And the only way to fight to win is with Jesus.
Here are some ways to start your fight:
- Change and freedom start in the heart: renew your mind, renew your view of women.
Jesus is the only way to renew anything – so go to Him regularly. Seek Jesus like your life depends on it, because it does. Read the Bible. Read books. Listen to podcasts.
- Ask your wife to hold you accountable
Wives should feel the freedom to ask their husband how he is doing in this area, and he should always answer truthfully. Schedule some time to present your struggle, and ask the Holy Spirit to guide you. She will thank you for being honest and including her in the fight.
- Ask a friend, leader, or mentor to hold you accountable
Close friends/mentors should ask regularly and diligently. This takes discipline and a good “work out partner”. Make sure you both show up ready for real growth. If you don’t have anyone, get into a church body that values discipleship and start some new relationships with Godly men.
- Use accountability software
It’s an effective last line of defense when temptation arrives.
- See the sin for what it is
Don’t water down what pornography is and what it does. It’s a multi-billion dollar industry that facilitates all types of sex-trafficking, sexual abuse, and exploitation of slaves and children. Also, don’t trick yourself into thinking it’s not affecting your marriage.
If you’re struggling with sexual addiction or pornography, God is calling you to be free from it. If you don’t know where to start, say this prayer and get ready for God to mold you and refine you.
Father, I need your grace and forgiveness; I can’t be righteous apart from you. Forgive me of my sins, and make me clean. Help me live a life that is sexually pure, and help me guard my heart and eyes from pornography. Mold me into the man you’ve called me to be, and help me be the husband my wife needs. Please give me strength and endurance to obey you, and give me grace to make the right decisions.
I trust that if you prayed that prayer, you’re on the path to freedom.