Time Management and Oneness

“Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is” – Ephesians 5:15-17

How much time are you spending on your wife and marriage on a monthly basis?

I’ve taken national averages and input from friends…..and I’ve done the math (all in minutes):

14,400 sleeping (8 hours per night)

10,800 working (45 hours per week)

3,000 watching TV

2,520 on the smartphone

1,800 focused on children’s activities

1,500 on housework and maintenance

1,200 in the car commuting

480 volunteering or participating in groups

360 in church

150 in prayer with our wife (5 mins a day)

120 dating our wife

100 minutes engaged in conversation at a meaningful level (3 mins a day)

80 having sex (2 times per week – 10 minutes each time)

Yikes! It doesn’t look good. Yes…we need to sleep and work to pay the bills. What about the connectivity with your wife? Spiritual, emotional, relational and physical components that help create oneness in your marriage. 810 out of 43,200 minutes a month are focused on these components. I would venture to guess that we even rush through these. I know what you’re thinking…..let’s get our wives to have more sex or fool around longer….and we can pump up those stats. I get it….but we need to focus on all the areas. Praying with her….and taking turns praying. We need to have “date” time…even if it simply a 10 minute walk because that’s all the time in the moment. We need to talk to our wives without the phone and with full attention. And yes…we need to find time in the schedule to take time for sex.

Let’s try this….do a time study on one week in your marriage; and then talk together about what you have learned and why it is important to you to increase the focus on togetherness. And challenge yourself to:

Double the prayer/devotional time with her

Double the conversation time with her

Double the time spent doing things together

Double the sex? Spend the time praying about this area (both alone and with her)….spend more time connecting with her and doing things together….and I bet you’ll see changes in the sexual statistics too.

Guys….it’s up to us to lead the change that we want to see in our marriage.

Make time to make it a priority.  She’s worth it.

3 thoughts on “Time Management and Oneness

  1. Pingback: Steve Harvey | bestrongactlikemen

  2. She couldn’t care less. So I’ve found other pursuits. Plus leaving military service and career change prep is taking a ton of time.

    • Maybe she couldn’t care less, so let’s not focus on her thoughts and feelings. God didn’t call a husband to love his wife only if she cared and was interested. We are to make the effort to love and lead in our marriages. Changing careers is definitely a challenge. Thank you for your service to our country. Jason…I would encourage you to guard your heart. Take purposeful steps to do little things that can impact your marriage. Pray for and with your wife….can take less than five minutes of your day together. A random text in the middle of the day to her with a compliment or what she means to you….can take less than 30 seconds.

      I believe that God has a great plan for your marriage. I believe that you are designed to love and lead your marriage. It isn’t easy. It’s hard work….and a lot of self-reflection and selflessness. Take the steps and trust in Him. I will be praying for you, your wife and your work transition.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s