“Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is” – Ephesians 5:15-17
How much time are you spending on your wife and marriage on a monthly basis?
I’ve taken national averages and input from friends…..and I’ve done the math (all in minutes):
14,400 sleeping (8 hours per night)
10,800 working (45 hours per week)
3,000 watching TV
2,520 on the smartphone
1,800 focused on children’s activities
1,500 on housework and maintenance
1,200 in the car commuting
480 volunteering or participating in groups
360 in church
150 in prayer with our wife (5 mins a day)
120 dating our wife
100 minutes engaged in conversation at a meaningful level (3 mins a day)
80 having sex (2 times per week – 10 minutes each time)
Yikes! It doesn’t look good. Yes…we need to sleep and work to pay the bills. What about the connectivity with your wife? Spiritual, emotional, relational and physical components that help create oneness in your marriage. 810 out of 43,200 minutes a month are focused on these components. I would venture to guess that we even rush through these. I know what you’re thinking…..let’s get our wives to have more sex or fool around longer….and we can pump up those stats. I get it….but we need to focus on all the areas. Praying with her….and taking turns praying. We need to have “date” time…even if it simply a 10 minute walk because that’s all the time in the moment. We need to talk to our wives without the phone and with full attention. And yes…we need to find time in the schedule to take time for sex.
Let’s try this….do a time study on one week in your marriage; and then talk together about what you have learned and why it is important to you to increase the focus on togetherness. And challenge yourself to:
Double the prayer/devotional time with her
Double the conversation time with her
Double the time spent doing things together
Double the sex? Spend the time praying about this area (both alone and with her)….spend more time connecting with her and doing things together….and I bet you’ll see changes in the sexual statistics too.
Guys….it’s up to us to lead the change that we want to see in our marriage.
Make time to make it a priority. She’s worth it.