Hello Everyone! I was recently asked this question by someone who reads the blog. It an interesting dilemma that needs to be overcome in our hearts if we are going to find success in our marriages.
“I read your posts on leading your marriage. I feel like my wife dominates the marriage. She treats me like I am not capable of leading our marriage or family. How is it possible to love her when she acts this way?”
I would say that at various times that we all have felt the struggle between loving our wives the way that God intends verse the way the world treats loving others. I believe that most people would feel justified to be upset with how their spouse is acting toward them and they would be right according to our culture, but not according to God. Ephesians has much to say about this.
I would say that we are disobeying God when we let things build and fester. God does not want that to occur because He knows what happens to us when it does. We are hurting ourselves and our marriages when we allow this to occur. It is okay to be angry and have emotions, but it is not okay to sin because of it. We have to turn those God given emotions into productive actions based on God’s word.
I have to be very careful with this…..because it is easy to fall into the trap where I get blinded by my problems and forget that God is there to guide me through it. I am only learning now, after many years, that I have to submit to God in order to deal with challenges in my marriage Biblically. It has allowed me to become a more forgiving person. It has allowed me to be able to reach for my wife’s hand after an argument. I am nowhere perfect on any of this….but I have learned that submitting to God’s plan for my role in marriage and being able to love my wife through anything becomes easier.
Focus on being the husband and leader that God wants you to be. Set an example of submitting your will to His will. I think that in time….that when your wife sees you submitting yourself to God, then it will become easier for her to submit herself to you. Pray for God to help you convince her that He is working in you. Remember God loved us despite our sins. Love your wife anyways.