A Transforming Checklist

We’re going to continue to build on the transforming your marriage theme. It is easy to become lazy about your marriage…or at least about parts of your marriage. It would seem like a no-brainer to show affection, warmth and encouragement, but without a consistent focus – it becomes easy to neglect your marriage.

I like checklist. Here are ten things…strategies that might just transform your marriage.

1. Adjust your attitude. You might not be able to change your spouse, but you can change yourself (we are going to talk about this one more tomorrow!!)

2. Show affection and warmth. Simple gestures can change your spouse’s mood and the atmosphere in your home.

3. Offer encouragement. It takes nine affirming comments to make up for one critical comment. If you are like most people, you owe your spouse a boatload of encouragement. Watch for opportunities to give your husband or wife an affirming word.

4. Give sexual intimacy the time and attention it deserves. Are you too tired to work on this? Then your priorities are in the wrong place. Find at least two hours per week to spend on romance and intimacy. And flirt with your spouse…remind him or her that you’re attracted to them. Pursue each other.

5. Make friends with your spouse. The basic principles of friendship apply to marriage, too: friends tend to have more patience with each other; they extend grace, forgiveness, and kindness towards one another; and they have fun together.

6. Schedule more fun in your marriage. Look for creative date ideas—don’t just go out for dinner and a movie. Your willingness to put some thought into enjoyable, out-of the-ordinary things to do together will speak volumes to your spouse.

7. Practice “thank you therapy.” Sit down today and list at least ten reasons why you are grateful for your spouse.

8. Accept that not all problems are resolvable. Some problems will always be in our lives in one form or another. Find a workable solution you can both live with. Learn to agree to disagree.

9. Nurture spiritual growth. Start by praying daily for your spouse and your relationship. Besides attending worship services together, develop a regular time to practice spiritual disciplines such as devotions, bible study, prayer, and reading. Pray together daily. Ask them – what can I pray about for you today.

10. Review and renew your marriage vows. Vow renewal ceremonies are often more meaningful than the wedding. Reviewing and renewing your vows will move you toward spiritual intimacy.

Be Strong. Act Like Men.

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